// JavaScript Document DocDom = (document.getElementById?true:false); DocAll = (document.all?true:false); DocStr='' if (DocAll) DocStr="return document.all[id]" if (DocDom) DocStr="return document.getElementById(id)" GetRef=new Function("id", DocStr) if (DocStr=='') { DynWrite=new Function("return false") } else { DynWrite=new Function("id", "S", "GetRef(id).innerHTML=S; return true") } function newQuote() { var quotearray = new Array(100); quotearray[0] = "Any man who falls behind is left behind.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[1] = "Slap me thrice and hand me to my mama! It's Jack!<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[2] = "Advise your brethren. You can fight, and all of you will die... or you can not fight, in which case only most of you will die.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[3] = "For certain you have to be lost to find what cannot be found; elsewise everyone would know where it was.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[4] = "Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found a girl and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[5] = "It's nothing personal, Jack. Just good business.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[6] = "If I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket...<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[7] = "Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished. I can offer an escape.<\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[8] = "There is only honor to remain on the losing side; winning is just good business.<\/q>
Captain Sao Feng"; quotearray[9] = "They'll have a magnificent garden party and he'll not invite us.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[10] = "Captain Barbossa , I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal.<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[11] = "There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[12] = "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[13] = "First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call \"guidelines\" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl<\/em>, Miss Turner.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[14] = "You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?<\/q>
Mullroy"; quotearray[15] = "You can keep doing that forever, the dog is never<\/em> going to move.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[16] = "'Ello, Poppet.<\/q>
Pintel"; quotearray[17] = "It'll be one pistol as before, and you can be the gentleman and shoot the lady; and starve to death yourself.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[18] = "Jack Sparrow, or your willful commission of crime against the crown. Those crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England...arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. For these crimes you will be hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul.<\/q>
Town Clerk"; quotearray[19] = "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[20] = "Savvy?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[21] = "Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[22] = "I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that. Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry... Will... nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will always<\/em> remember as the day that you...<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[23] = "I, uh, apologize if I seem forward, but I must speak my mind... Ah, this promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have... not yet achieved: a marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth.<\/q>
Commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[24] = "The boy's fate is<\/em> regrettable... but then, so was his decision to engage in piracy<\/q>
Governor Weatherby Swann"; quotearray[25] = "You can't beat me, Jack!<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[26] = "I couldn't resist, mate...<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[27] = "Don't be alarmed, we're taking over the ship.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[28] = "Think again, Miss Swann. Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop.<\/q>
Commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[29] = "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[30] = "When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[31] = "Actually, I find it all fascinating.<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[32] = "Well, women in London must have learned not to breathe.<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[33] = "For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[34] = "Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We're square.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[35] = "I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it. <\/q>
William Turner"; quotearray[36] = "Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[37] = "Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck.<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[38] = "That was for the smell.<\/q>
William Turner"; quotearray[39] = "No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north,
and I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.<\/q>
Commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[40] = "This is a jar of dirt....Is the jar of dirt going to help?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[41] = "Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[42] = "Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.<\/q>
William Turner"; quotearray[43] = "No! This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[44] = "Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[45] = "I'm listening....I'm listening intently.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[46] = "I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[47] = "You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?<\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[48] = "Oh. Except for a sense of honor and decency and a moral center. And personal hygiene.<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[49] = "Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
Got it!
Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got. I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it! <\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[50] = "Oh, I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption.<\/q>
Former-commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[51] = "And already the world seems a little less bright. He fooled us all, right to the end. But I guess that honest streak finally won out.
To Jack Sparrow.<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[52] = "Would you do it? What would any of you do? Would you said to the ends of the earth and back to fetch back witty Jack, and him precious Pearl<\/em>?<\/q>
Tia Dalma"; quotearray[53] = "So tell me, what's become of my ship?<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[54] = "So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow...or should I just kill you now?<\/q>
Former commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[55] = "Currency is the currency of the realm.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[56] = "One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist. <\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[57] = "Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare, all your sins punished. I can offer an escape.<\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[58] = "Governor<\/em> Swann, still. Do you think I wear this wig to keep my head warm?.<\/q>
Governor Weatherby Swann"; quotearray[59] = "I like it. Simple, easy to remember.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[60] = "Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.<\/q>
Tia Dalma"; quotearray[61] = "It's the Bible. You get credit for tryin'.<\/q>
Ragetti"; quotearray[62] = "I care not for cursed Aztec gold. My desires are not so provincial. There's more than one chest of value in these waters. So perhaps you may wish to enhance your offer.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[63] = "Your bravery is wasted. I shall pry the chest away from your cold... dead... hands.<\/q>
Hadras"; quotearray[64] = "Turns out not even Jack Sparrow can best the devil! <\/q>
Maccus"; quotearray[65] = "Don't eat me!Don't eat me!<\/q>
Cotton's parrot"; quotearray[66] = "You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[67] = "Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention... he's in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[68] = "Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[69] = "Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that, at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it *really* that you've ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[70] = "No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[71] = "Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[72] = "You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax..<\/q>
Former commodore James Norrington"; quotearray[73] = "I brought payment. Look. An undead monkey! Top that!<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[74] = "Complications arose, ensued, were overcome.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[75] = "'Evening, Gov'nor. Shame, eh? He was carrying these. It's a letter to the king. It's from you.<\/q>
Mister Mercer"; quotearray[76] = "You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[77] = "I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?<\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[78] = "You'll have the chance to do something... something courageous. And when you do, you'll discover something. That you're a good man.<\/q>
Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[79] = "No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[80] = "Cuttlefish.
Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish... flipper conories little sausages. Pin them up together and they will devour each other without a second thought... Human nature, in'it? Ooor... fish nature... So yes... we could hold up here well-provisioned and well-armed and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me any way you slice it! Or... ahh... as my learned colleague so naively<\/em> suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful... I rather doubt it. Can we in fact pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio<\/em>, we are left with but one option. I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[81] = "Jack! The world needs you back something fierce!<\/q>
Joshamee Gibbs"; quotearray[82] = "And its Captain is to sail it as commanded!<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[83] = "The world used to be a bigger place.<\/q>
Captain Hector Barbossa"; quotearray[84] = "I leave you people alone for just a minute look what happens, everything's gone to pot!<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[85] = "Keep a weather eye on the horizon.<\/q>
Will Turner"; quotearray[86] = "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[87] = "James Norrington, do you fear death? I'll take that as a no.<\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[88] = "Elizabeth Swann, there is more to you than meets the eye, isn't there? And the eye does not go wanting.<\/q>
Captain Sao Feng"; quotearray[89] = "Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me.
Yes, I lied to you.
No, I don't love you.
Of course it makes you look fat.
I've never been to Brussels.
It is pronounced egregious<\/em>.
By the way, no. I've never actually met Pizarro, but I do love his pies.
And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy? <\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[90] = "How's mum? She looks...great.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[91] = "Jack Sparrow is taken, body and soul, to a place not of death, but punishment.<\/q>
Tia Dalma"; quotearray[92] = "The enemy has opted for oblivion! Prepare the fleet.<\/q>
Lord Cutler Beckett"; quotearray[93] = "Part of the crew, part of the ship! <\/q>
Bootstrap Bill Turner"; quotearray[94] = "You will listen to me! LISTEN! The other ships will still be looking to us, to the Black Pearl, to lead, and what will they see? Frightened bilgerats aboard a derelict ship? No, no they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see, they will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brow and the strength of our backs and the courage in our hearts!
Gentlemen, hoist the colors!<\/q>
Captain Elizabeth Swann"; quotearray[95] = "The Code is the law.<\/q>
Captain Teague"; quotearray[96] = "Thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't this would probably never work.And that was without even a single drop of rum.<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; quotearray[97] = "Ha ha... Lookie here boys. A lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly! <\/q>
Davy Jones"; quotearray[98] = "Our fates have been entwined, Elizabeth, but never joined.<\/q>
Admiral James Norrington"; quotearray[99] = "Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!<\/q>
Captain Jack Sparrow"; var number = Math.round((Math.random() * 100) - 1); if (number <0) number=0 DynWrite('quotes', quotearray[number]); }