I'm back in Utah, sitting on my bed. I don't know how I feel about being home, frankly. I wish I were still in Korea some days, but other days I remember how hard it was and don't really want to go back. I've been kept busy here at home, which is good. We've been waging a war against little terrorists in the house and had an exterminator over yesterday. It was fun getting ready for it. Gave me something to do most of the day.

It's amazing how fast life moves. Korea feels like a dream and an eternity ago, much like home felt like a dream the moment I entered the MTC in April. Everyone has been super nice. Which is good. It's also been super awkward. Especially at church. I hate feeling like a disappointment to people. Before you start telling me that I'm not a disappointment, I know. I've heard from President Perriton and my stake president and my bishop that I'm not. I'm not a failure. My mission wasn't pointless. But that doesn't change the look in people's eyes seeing me home. It was awkward at church, and I can see why a lot of missionaries who come home early go inactive.

President Perriton and I talked about this feeling of failure in length before I came home. I know I'm not one. I just sprained my hamstring and had to be pulled from the game before I did some serious injuries to myself. So here I am. Home. Taking it easy for a while.

I didn't take many pictures in Korea (I thought I had a year and a half), but here are some pictures from my mission.
Me and my trainer, Sister Lee Se-ri. This was our last day together as companions. There's a restaurant behind us that looks like a pig.

This is Sister Jung Eun-ju and I my last day in Gwangju. She was an awesome companion. I love her to pieces. We made every day a special day.
This is my first district in Korea. They were crazy. Lots of fun, too.
This is in the MTC with my district and with Brother Murray.
This is the MTC too with Sister Son and Brother Erickson in our classroom.


I'm sure I'll post more pictures and stories and whatnot in the future. This is just a quick post to let everyone know I've come home safely.

Erica

Hello one and all! Time for another confession. I don't particularly want to make this confession...but I figure it best to do so quickly so that you have time to think about what I'm about to say. I'm coming home. Relatively soon, actually. For the past five months, I've had some highs and some very bad lows. Recently, the lows have been getting worse and more prolonged. I have a hard time finding energy to just smile some days. So...I talked to a psychologist in Japan and he recommended that I come home to get treatment. Apparently I'm suffering from severe depression.

The thought of coming home is both a relief and a disappointment. I love it here in Korea. The food is delicious. Everyone is remarkably kind and respectful. I've seen some miracles. Three of the sisters I've had the opportunity to help teach have been baptized (though I only got to physically see one this last week). They will be great members, and I consider it a real privilege that I've been able to meet them. I wasn't able to say much, but I was able to testify. Which I'll do now. I know that this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and through him, Heavenly Father restored His church on this earth. I know that God answers prayers, even though I sometimes don't feel as though they are. He has helped me make it this far in my mission. And though I feel as I've failed Him, I do know He loves me. And you. If we follow His commandments, we will be blessed. I've seen it in my life.

I don't want to come home, but I can't wait to see all of you again. Thank you for your continued support. I've appreciated your prayers on my behalf. The church is true regardless of where I am or what I'm doing, which is a great comfort. The next few weeks will be rough. But through God's help we can do anything. I love you all!

Sister Erica Ellen Oates